When I specifically sought out a pure positive, force free trainer, I thought for sure we'd be on the right track. Everyone I spoke with told me that any amount of force, discomfort, or punishment would not only hurt my dogs, but make them more aggressive. This was the only option, as far as I was concerned. I didn't want to hurt or abuse my dogs. I'm a pretty soft, passive person and I couldn't imagine telling my dogs "no" if all we needed were different kinds of "yeses."

The trainer we eventually hired told me that she could help. She was more than okay with our crate-free, leave-the-dogs-alone-in the-bedroom-all-day lifestyle. When one dog pushed the other out of the way for attention, she told us to simply ignore it. Her goal was to work them in close proximity with lots of treats. This, she told us, would convey that "Good things (treats) happen when we are together" and hopefully, stop the fighting. Exercise stops bad behavior too, she said, and when I told her Margo was a bad puller, she advised giving her a treat when there was no tension on the leash. "I tried that," I said, and told her that Margo was too excited to take treats outside. She told me to work on the leash pulling in the back yard where smells are familiar, "for the first few months." Then, eventually, I could "try the front yard."

During the very first training session, we worked the dogs together in our small living room. No leashes or long lines, just treats. Problem was, my dogs are both resource guarders and HIGHLY aroused by food. The trainer began throwing high-value treats on the floor and told one of them to "go find it." You can imagine where that led. That was worst fight yet in terms of human collateral. My husband still bears the scar of that night on his right hand.

This time, something had changed. We could not reintroduce them as we always had. They would immediately fight. We began to separate them 100% of the time. We bought two Baskerville muzzles, just for safety's sake. I was eager to get them back together; I didn't want to accept the reality of a crate and separate lifestyle.

At the next lesson, our trainer checked the fit, and okayed us to do an on-leash muzzled reintroduction all by ourselves, after she left. Knowing next to nothing about dog behavior at that time, we missed all the pre-fight warning signs - tense body language, closed mouth, and stiff nose to nose greeting. Abby's muzzle failed - it was too loose. She slipped out of it AND her flat buckle collar, and immediately attacked Margo. Remember, our trainer checked the fit! I called her to explain what had happened, she apologized and said she should have been present. She advised us to buy a DAP (dog appeasing hormone) plug-in diffuser. I imagined that reality, for a moment. Our dogs were willing and able at any moment to use teeth on each other, meanwhile we're armed with only a stupid wall plug-in.

At that point we fired our trainer. $400 down the drain and we were in a worse place than where we started. After spending an entire week calling every other positive trainer in the area, I was about ready to give up. All of their exact methods were kept secret, of course, but sounded very similar to our first trainer. "How do I communicate that fighting is absolutely not an option?" I implored. "You can't," they said. "It's always going to be an option. You just remove the possibility of reward. That's the only thing you can do. You can't use punishment on aggressive dogs." They suggested I look into rehoming.

Our worst fears were quickly confirmed. All the rescues were full. They were old mutts with a host of issues. Margo was a massive puller & submissive wetter, and Abby had health conditions. These kinds of dogs simply don't make it into good homes. The only option was the shelter, where I was certain they'd be put down due to their age and behavioral issues. Ours was the only home either of them had ever known - it didn't seem fair to push one of them out because of OUR poor decisions as dog owners. For weeks we sat in this struggle. Knowing something was wrong, but not knowing how to fix it. I cried every single night.

I'll never forget the day it all changed. We were pity-eating some chicken wings at a hole in the wall restaurant, and my husband said (somewhat hesitantly), "Maybe we should try a shock collar." Recalcitrant, I scoffed at his suggestion. "They only fight now, do you want them to actually kill each other? It's a well-known fact that shock collars make dogs aggressive. It's scientific consensus." He quickly dropped the issue, but just to lay it to rest completely (so that he would not bring it up again), that night I got on the old Google. I wanted to find some videos or blog posts of these dogs ruined by shock collars. Then I could get back to my real job - finding the right pure positive trainer for our issues.

2017: The Year Everything Changed - Part 2