2017: The Year That Everything Changed - Part 5

Arriving back home, armed with knowledge and a powerful new tool, I began a new phase of bootcamp at home. I saw that I was settling in so many ways for piss-poor behavior from my girls. I vowed to ask more of them from this point onwards. No longer were they allowed to casually break place. No longer were they allowed to whine, protesting the agonizingly slow meal service. No longer was Abby allowed to blow off recall, under any circumstance - even if balls were being thrown in her vicinity. No longer was Margo allowed to run and hide from the vacuum. 

I drilled down even harder on the basics. I gave my dogs firmer consequences for smaller infractions. I reserved praise for the REALLY good reps, and nothing else. I began to walk them by myself, on opposite sides of my body. The structured walk was their main source of exercise for months and months. I wanted them to pack up together and move throughout the world as a unit. In nature, wolves only migrate with members of their pack, so walking them together was my way of solidifying these fraternal bonds. Inwardly, I did as Cam and others had suggested - let go of outcome. Allow the dogs to make choices, and be ready to provide feedback about those choices. Move through the fear. Just do. Do. Do. 

Then one day in late September, I decided to put my dogs to the ultimate test. We had being walking them to a local park and letting them romp off leash, but just recalling them away from each other when they got too close. This was starting to feel quite forced, and my dog trainer friends were telling me that I had done the foundational stuff to death. The only thing standing in my way was me. It was time.

Both dragging leashes, I told them "break." They approached, nose to nose. Tails were up, bodies stiff. Ever so slowly, they sniffed ass. Abby was more investigative than Margo, who mainly offered her butt to sniff more than sniffing Abby. Then, just like that, it was over. Abby began to run around, Margo began to run around, and they just "dogged." They sniffed things together, heeled together, and did downstays side by side.

This was truly a breakthrough. I started insisting on more inclusivity, everywhere. We started going on car trips again, something we had to suspend during the worst parts of their fighting. Their whole way of being towards one another was different. Calmer. More relaxed. It felt like a weight had been lifted as they realized they DIDN'T have to call the shots. I was the only person in the house who was allowed to create boundaries and share consequences.

I would be lying if I said there weren't ups and downs and bumps along the road. The path from Point A to Point B is almost never linear. They still can't be fed in the same room. They still occasionally blow off recall. There have been tense moments, where they almost fight, but I am able to call them off of each other now when I wasn't before. The other day, we got bum-rushed by an off-leash dog, and they redirected their aggression onto each other instead of the incoming dog. 

But overall, our life is pretty good. I am getting more calls from training clients each day. Margo is becoming a helper dog, and she goes with me to training sessions. We are observing that Abby isn't the alpha bitch we thought she was - her aggression is based in fear, developed through many years of Margo showing up as an out-of-control, unbalanced, hyperactive dog. She's not fully sure that we have her back, and it will take time for her to trust in this new version of her humans. She's dominant, for sure, but she's also insecure, and this is what makes her lash out and bully. 

I'm not going to lie to you - we have to bring our A-game. Every day. We must be mindful of our allowances, of our projections, of the little things we let them get away with. It's a pretty tightly run ship, but I wouldn't have it any other way.

Maybe there is someone out there with a story just like mine, and by sharing my story, I am giving them a vision of what's possible in a moment when they have lost all hope. I never, EVER imagined I would be here. Looking back at the past year the the negative events and outcomes stand out. The times I cried, doubted myself, and wanted to give up. My mentors told me to trust my story, over and over again, but it's hard to trust your story when you story reads more like a manual on ow not to train your dog! Here's the short version: 

1) Don't get two female dogs, especially don't get a younger female to give your older dog a "playmate" while you work. 
2) Don't allow dogs to "work it out." 
3) Don't let the love and affection be on tap.
4) Don't reinforce "pack status" and allow the dogs to make up their own rules and consequences. 

Sometimes I am full of anger at all of these unfair, uncomfortable, and unforeseen circumstances and events. The bad training advice on the internet, the unqualified pure positive trainer, my own blissful ignorance,  the comparative dearth of balanced trainers in our area. But today I sit in gratitude for every moment. I would not be here had the pure positive trainer not thrown treats on the floor and made my dogs fight. I would not be here if we had re-homed one of them. I would not be here if I had decided to forego training entirely and resign the dogs to "crate and separate."  I would not be here had my husband not mentioned the words, "shock collar," over that sad plate of chicken wings, so many months ago. It is my firm belief that everything happens for a reason. These things didn't happen to me, they happened for me. It's a subtle turn of phrase, but the resultant world-views are vastly different. 

In a synchronistic twist, I woke up today and read that 2018 is supposed to be the Year of The Dog.

Bring it on.