What Dog Owners Can Learn From Alcoholics Anonymous

Here's the first tenet of the famous 12 Step Program for alcoholics.

"We admitted we were powerless over our addiction, that our lives had become unmanageable."

I get emails almost every day from people who are struggling with a myriad of behavior problems  - jumping up, pulling on the leash, resource guarding, incessant barking, fighting between dogs in the house.

The tendency of most dog owners is to conceptualize each of these problems as uniquely separate, each with it's own tidy solution. But in reality that's rarely the case. Most dog problems stem from the same problem - excessive excitement. And most problems disappear when you take care of the root of the problem. 

Before we go any further, I want you to consider that when it comes to excitement, your dog is addicted. And he is powerless over that addiction. And his behavior has become unmanageable. 

The Life of an Addict

People whose lives are ripped apart by the ravages of alcoholism observe a similar pattern. While in the throes of addiction, we may observe an alcoholic

-Overdrawing their bank account
-Losing their job
-Failing at relationships
-Crashing their car
-Losing custody of their children
-Lashing out at anyone who dares to erect a boundary
-Dealing with anxiety and depression

Anyone who's lived with or loved an addict knows that all of these problems have the same root. Finding another job or another girlfriend never fixes the problem. More money DEFINITELY doesn't help (because they just spend it on booze!)  Adding yoga, meditation, or exercise doesn't work until they stop the drinking. Everyone knows the REAL solution- cut the addict off from his drug off from his drug of choice.

And this is exactly what we must do with our dogs.

Too Little, Too Late

Most attempts to calm a hyper dog fail because they happen too late.  It's like trying to keep a 30 days sober alcoholic from binge drinking after he's already chugged two beers. You may be quite earnest in your endeavors, but all the earnestness in the world isn't going to influence the behavior of someone under the effects of a mind-altering substance.

When your dog is under the influence of adrenaline, you might as well not even bother talking to him. He can't hear you. He's two drinks in.

The time to act is not ten seconds after your dog has already been jumping on your guest. It's before he even thinks about jumping.

The Solution

If you're a good friend, you don't let your friend get anywhere near the bar. When you call him up to hang out, you suggest a coffee shop, not one of his old haunts. You definitely don't get him a bottle of whiskey for his birthday, even if it's an old tradition. You know understand on a subconscious level that there is a part of his brain that gets activated in the presence of alcohol, and, for the sake of his continued sobrierty, you want to avoid flipping that switch.

If you want to keep your dog calm, don't let him get excited. This absurdly simple directive can literally mean the difference between chaos and calmness in your house.

But, I know what you're thinking. "It's too vague! Give me the deets!"

Glad that you asked. Because the world doesn't run on good intentions.

The Plan

1. Don't let your dog rush out of his crate.
While your dog is in the crate, immediately leash him and do the open/shut protocol with the crate door until you see calmer body language and good eye contact. The same protocol applies to thresholds in your house.

2. Teach your dog the Place command.
But don't let Place be optional! If your dog breaks place, correct him swiftly and firmly. Staying on place while an exciting thing happens will force the dog to ride the wave of excitement without practicing bad behavior. Over time, the stimulus (doorbell usually starts the cascade) will actually become less tempting. Just like over time, an alcoholic may be able to sit at a bar without having a drink.

3. Walk your dog in heel.  
A dog who is allowed to sniff, mark, and fixate on everything in the environment is a dog who's adrenaline is rising slowly. When we take those options off the table by insisting on a nice tight heel, we immediately see the excitement level go down.

But listen closely to what I'm about to say: You MUST be proactive about correcting at the first sign of arousal. If your dog is barking and lunging, you're too late and your best bet is to walk away, let that excitement go down naturally, and try again later.

Stay the Course

If you can do these three things consistently (I.E. every day) and with conviction, you WILL see a reduction in excitement and related bad behaviors. In the interest of avoiding a relapse, so to speak, you will probably need to stagger your dog's reintroduction to known triggers.

If guests are his big trigger, keep him in his crate until you have shared the guidance and feedback for a more solid place command. If his trigger is a certain dog in your neighborhood, avoid that specific dog at first on your structured walks. Don't get me wrong, there will come a time to address that dog. But not in the beginning. Baby steps.

In the early stages of sobriety, it's actually in an addict's best interest to avoid his triggers. At first it may mean he can't even walk down the street where he's been formerly bar hopping. Too many temptations. But before long, if he's consistent, he's going to be able to walk past those bars without going in. And then eventually, maybe, he might even be able to sit at the bar with friends and order a Coke.

Remember, you are your dog's teacher. You are the only person who can influence and control your dog's behavior. If excessive excitement is making your life unmanageable, the time to address it is now.

Most people who take care of their drinking problem do it because their family and friends have had enough. Don't let him be an addict forever.